When Dipti Sharma fell in love with Dipen, a cancer survivor, she knew she had to fight society’s prejudices about being in a relationship with someone ‘different’. Read on to learn about her story.
Dipen and I had known each other from a young age but never really spoken properly. He was pursuing professional wheelchair basketball in Europe whilst I moved away from the U.K. to work in Mumbai. We both had our individual journeys before we re-connected romantically. I wasn’t aware of his cancer journey until we began talking. Our conversation started from an Instagram story on a slow Sunday and eventually led to exchanging numbers to speaking daily. We took things slow, but we knew we were really into each other. W got engaged in 2021, and we are now planning our wedding that is taking place in 2023.
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In 2005, Dipen was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer most common in adolescents and younger adults. He successfully beat it after a lot of treatment in 2007. Although the cancer was gone, unfortunately, he caught MRSA and was left with the decision of having his right leg amputated.
One of the major relationship prejudices we had to fight was the judgments from society. I remember wondering about all the choices and fears my parents may question me about, such as if we may be ‘able’ to have kids, would we live a ‘normal’ life, would he be ‘able’ to look after me, what would ‘society’ say etc. Although my parents accepted it wholeheartedly, there are still many out there who wouldn’t, nor would their peers, because someone different is deemed as ‘not the right fit’ for them or the family. Traditionally, people consider the man to be the breadwinner and to provide for the woman. However, in our case, I think the biggest thing we will continue to fight is normalising being different and still having the ability to do everything differently and doing it together as equals.
I loved how easy it was to talk to him. When I began talking to Dipen properly, everything was transparent with him—it was natural, and it felt like I was no longer walking on eggshells. He had the same mindset as me when it came to a relationship, and his values, morals and outlook on life were very similar to mine! I also secretly found his prosthetic leg extremely hot. It just gave me Marvel vibes.
Relationships and love can occur with people of different shapes, sizes, colours, faiths, genders, and physical and mental differences. I believe a successful relationship comes from the acceptance of one another and the will to get to know things about each other. Transparency and acceptance are essential; I think we need more of that in this world.
I’ve always used my social media platform to share my voice for things that matter to me. When it came to my love life, as much as I enjoyed keeping it private, I wanted to use my voice to talk about things that were frowned upon in society, such as disabilities or just someone being different to you when it comes to love. It was more about wanting to be loud and proud of your choices and normalising them. Being with a leg amputee was never something I had envisioned when I thought about my ‘Prince Charming’, but that was written for me. I wanted to encourage others who are/might also face something similar to do the same—to not shy away from it, be it physically, mentally, culturally, sexually, etc. Accept someone as they are and love them for it regardless of what the world thinks of your choice. I also wanted to change what society has taught us when choosing a life partner; there is no right or wrong. There is only acceptance and happiness. Some chapters are to share and inspire others. This was one of them for me.
For me, a perfect relationship means less perfectionism and more acceptance. Acceptance, respect, communication, patience and most importantly, openness to learning about each other daily. We’re all human, and even in relationships, we will constantly find ourselves dealing with things differently the more we learn about ourselves and each other. Nothing is perfect, nor should it need to be.
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