Jyoti Katoch shares her pregnancy journey with her first child at the age of 42
“I got married at the age of 38 and had my first child when I was 42. I made conscious decisions to marry only when I found the person I liked and have a baby much later in life. I believe that we should bring up a child only when we have the resources, whether mental, emotional or financial. Giving birth is easy, but bringing up a conscious child is challenging. You need to invest your time and mental energy. Therefore have them when you are ready for that commitment. I feel that I am better off having a kid at this age as I have matured in many ways. I realised I was strong enough to handle the emotional and physical demands of the pregnancy and life.
When I got pregnant, I got a lot of unsolicited advice, but I learned to ignore the noise. I didn’t believe pregnancy in your ’40s is ‘late’. My family and friends were happy, and while a few people did say things, I never bothered. My husband and I were happy, and that’s all that mattered. My father, sister and husband were my biggest pillars of strength during this time. My father always told me to do what you feel is right regardless of what people think. There’s nothing like ‘late’ in life’s dictionary, and there’s nothing like ‘old’—it’s all in the mind.
I got a lot of unsolicited advice like ‘don’t move’, ‘keep on sitting or lying on the bed’, and ‘don’t eat this’; I learnt to ignore it and come to my own conclusions. Yoga, walking, gardening and doing the work I like kept me happy and healthy. I kept on working till the time I got admitted to the hospital. As a yoga instructor, I realised that I didn’t need to change my lifestyle abruptly—instead made small changes per my trimester and my personal strength at different stages.
The strength of being a parent in your ’40s is amazing. You really know what you want. You have the life experiences and the maturity to handle things better.
My only advice to women who decided to become mothers in their ’40s is to do what feels right for them. Make your own choices, and don’t let societal rules burden you. It’s never too late to be what you wanted to be.”
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