To give you context on how this article came to be, let’s take a short trip back in time. I’m sitting with my friends, rambling on and on about how I can’t wait to have children. One of my friends clears her throat, and we all turn to look at her. “You know Nikki, not all women want this. I know for a fact that I don’t want to get pregnant”, she shrugs casually before picking her cocktail up and sipping it.
A stream of ‘why not?’, really?’, ‘but this feeling is temporary, na?’ were issued in quick succession. It’s important to note that we’re a group that has grown up with the same dreams of having a family, possibly conditioned by society’s expectations, which lead to this reaction. This opened the door to a conversation about why having a child in today’s day is not the best idea. We were surprised at how quickly we could draw up a long list of cons—the pros seemed to sound slightly selfish, if I’m being honest.
I turned to my Instagram community and asked them this very question. Here’s sharing the candid answers that flooded in, one after the other.
“Having children is a huge responsibility, and I’m not ready for it. As a woman, you go through severe physical and mental changes pre, during and post-pregnancy that your body might or might not be prepared for. Also, unfortunately, our society expects a lot from women in terms of raising a child while primarily and essentially it is a two people’s job. I consider my body my first baby and want to take care of it in the best possible way. – Shruti, 26
“Bodily complications, energy deterioration over the years, the expenses attached…” – Natasha, 39
“I’d rather give all my love to my future fur babies.” – Dhriti, 27
“I don’t want to bring a life into this unsafe and unpredictable environment.” – Rhea*, 30
“Who needs another responsibility which I’m certain I won’t be good at. Besides, no room for maternal instincts.” – Shilpa, 33
“I’d like to welcome my child into a better world. With climate changes and a growing crime rate, it’s a no for me.” -Neha*, 27
“The world is going to hell—climate change will make resources scarce, stripping away our children of any tangible future. Since my parents have always told me having a kid is a choice and not a duty, I think I’d like to travel + explore + set myself up and then maybe someday in my late ’30s take a call.”- Sanjana, 22
“I love children but they are a huge responsibility. I don’t have the mental and physical bandwidth to raise one. No one really warns you about the side effects of pregnancy like pelvic prolapse, and medical complications. There is no way to ensure that the child you bring into the world won’t be subjected to pointless, avoidable suffering. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining someone’s life like that when I can’t even properly take care of myself. I think we should end the intergenerational trauma with us.” – Nivya, 24
“We are very happy with the life we have now and considering the situation across the world we don’t want to have a child. We may adopt a child in the future once our life is more stable.” – Ketki, 31
“I don’t think I want to take on this responsibility. Other reasons being current climate change and reduced quality of life.” – Annette, 22
Let us know what you think in the comments below.
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